A Little Jewelry Humor

Back in July, I wrote about some of my favorite online antique and vintage jewelry shopping websites (to see the original post, click here).  Well, recently I found another website that has provided me with an inordinate amount of online jewelry shopping fun.  And...humor.  Yup, you read that correctly.  I said, "humor."

This website doesn't have a particular focus on antique or vintage jewelry.  But it does have a specific focus.  What is it, you ask?  Wait for it.  Wait.  For.  It.  Its focus is jewelry that any woman would want to purge from her jewelry box as soon as possible after a break-up.  That's right, you guessed it!  It's jewelry from an ex-boyfriend.

The website is called Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry and it has the motto, "You don't want it.  He can't have it back."  So with a tag line like that, is it any wonder that the sale ads read like a line from a sad country song?!?!  Some are pretty funny.  Some are downright sad.  And some, are just a plain ol'pretty good deal!  

And on that, here's a sampling of some of my favorites!  I hope you enjoy and get a kick out of them as much as I did!  And who knows?  You might find a pretty good deal on your next favorite pieces of jewelry!  Enjoy!  (BTW, if you're interested in any of the pieces, the link is in the title/caption...)

The Scoop:  He bought this ring with MY credit card without letting me know, I found out with my bank statements months later...
Jewelry Description:  Classic beautiful gold princess style ring. Retail price $3,599.99  Unique opportunity!  
Jewelry Rating & Condition: New
Price: $2500
Location: Atlanta, Georgia

Beautiful Princess Cut Valencia Ring
The Scoop:  Well after 2 1/2 years of marriage turns out my instincts were correct he had a piece on the side & she is pregnant with his baby, the worst part I went through fertility treatments & all trying to conceive a baby with him throughout this process...Apparently he got what he wanted, once he found out she was pregnant he filed for divorce & I received a rude wake up call. Loved the ring - hope someone else can enjoy it, we were always going to replace the CZ with a real diamond after a few years.
Jewelry Description:  Wedding ring with band size 5 or 5 1/2 I believe - Valencia Mounting with Princess Cut CZ (cubic zirconia) in the center - 14K white gold - I believe it totals 1 carat (1/2 in the band and 1/2 in the small diamonds on the ring itself)- Purchased from Riddles Jewelry - the ring was appraised at $1400 without the band - so with the band is worth over $1800 - they are sottered together and it has the flat bottom which I really liked - it is a beautiful ring my loss is your gain - serious inquiries only please - Must SELL!!! 
Price: $850
Location: Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Ughhh I used to LOVE these
The Scoop:  Loved these. Hate him. I have wanted these earrings forever. These were a gift last year for the holidays. He spent time meeting with a jeweler to create them exactly as I had wanted. Although I still love them, the remind me of him and his commitment phobic, lying, lack of integrity, self. He couldn't commit to me, so now I can't commit to owning these anymore. Please buy and enjoy them so I can buy myself something new to go along with the new me.
Jewelry Description:  Rose quartz and diamond earrings. 18 mm round rose quartz gem with check faceting. There are 48 diamonds, G in color and VS in clarity (total carat is .62) and set in 14 k rose gold. Appraisal was given for $3400.00!  
Price: $1,200
Location: Chicago, Illinois

Beautiful Kay Jewelers Jane Seymour Butterfly Necklace
The Scoop:  My ex boyfriend sent me a message that he needed a break due to drug & mental issues. He had told me he was hiding out In abandoned apartments which... I came to realize weren't so abandoned after all. He also apparently stole & sold a number of my things for drug use... so I am selling this to make up for some of it.
Jewelry Description:  This beautiful butterfly pendant is sterling silver & adorned with 1/10 c. Of blue & white round diamonds. The center displays the iconic Jane Seymour open heart design. Included is the original 18" lobster chain clasp. This item will be shipped in original black velvet Kay Jewelers jewelry box. Makes a wonderful gift!   This necklace was cleaned & inspected at Kay Jewelers on July 5, 2014. It is in prime condition with no scratches, chips or missing diamonds. This item has been worn 4 to 5 times since receiving it in May.  
Price: $175
Location: Huntsville, Alabama 

Beautiful Tacori Wedding Set Size 7
The Scoop:  I married a d*ckhead, plain & simple. Everyone knew it, but no one said it, including me. Just glad I got my head out of my a$$ before we had kids. After I decided to leave, he had the nerve to tell me that I didn't have a reason to be unhappy because he had bought me a nice/expensive ring.  Uhh, whatever dude.
Jewelry Description:  Rings were appraised in January 2014 for $12,640. DeVon's stated that rings would remain under warranty as long as I provided new owner w/current warranty cards. Engagement Ring (W/o center stone): 18kt WG .64ctw diamond ring.  Engagement Ring Center Stone: Princess Cut .70ct/VS2/F .  Wedding Band: 18kt WG .48ctw diamond band.  Original ring box and certificate of authenticity are included in sale.  
Jewelry Rating & Condition: Excellent
Price: $3500 Reduced Price
Location: Waterford, California

Not to enjoy others misfortune but I hope you enjoyed their creative writing as much as I did.  Check out everything that's up for sale on Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry!  I'm sure you'll be able to find something you love and...Bonus!  Help a gal out at the same time!

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